Breaking News – The SW Shadow has officially declared senioritis a pandemic at Southwest Career and Technical Academy. After months of observing the disease slowly spread throughout the first quarter of students’ senior year, the illness has spread to encompass both academies, all programs, and is now slowly affecting each and every student.
Some symptoms of senioritis include boredom, fatigue, lack of sleep, an addiction to caffeine, hysteria, apathy, incomplete homework, extreme procrastination, and rapidly declining grades coupled with a downfall in GPA and class ranking.
The disease begins in the brain by affecting common sense, logic, and academic capability. The ailment then moves down through the body causing eye-lid droopiness, slurring of the words, a cramping of the fingers from spending time on social networks and texting, and then the immobility of the legs to rise out of bed or move away from the computer screen.
Due to the lack of research by professional medical programs, senioritis has no vaccine and no cure until the disease fully runs its course by graduation day in June; however, various treatments are available to slow down the advancement of the disease. Perhaps the most beneficial method of recovery is through counselor visits or a parental intervention to “snap you back” into reality and thinking about the future.
Other options include meditation, an entire day of pure sleep, the utilization of a planner, or the hiring of a personal assistant or therapist.
If senioritis has progressed too far, the diagnosed individual won’t even consider those options. Instead, the individual will let the disease run its course, suffering through the rest of senior year, and be cured of the illness in June. Consequentially, the individual student may look back on high school later in life and regret their decisions and laziness.
It is time to outsmart this pandemic and the procrastination that began the outbreak. Seniors need to focus on the future and get through these next few months. Take advantage of the five day weekends and upcoming winter break to get ahead, get some shut-eye, and put senioritis in remission!
Senioritis may seem legitimate based on the data presented in this article, but in reality, “senioritis” is nothing but a lame excuse to not do work, focus on school, or do anything academic or useful during the day. Be mindful that even though you are admitted to the school of your dreams, you must still send the school final transcripts. SNAP OUT OF IT AND GET TO WORK!