Was Growing up a Choice?

Editorial Warning: Mature Content

Many times people are forced to “grow up,” embracing a mature and distinct perspective on their experiences. It may stem from a singular traumatic experience, or a series of them, or simply facing the hardships that reality and the “real world” have to offer at a young age. 

“As an immigrant, coming into the United States completely changed how the environment around me was,” senior Zielle Poselero said. “I was separated from my family, and it was just me and my mom. From a very young age, I had to know about the challenges and sacrifices my mom made, and I already felt like a burden. Understanding that so young made me feel like my childhood was cut off really abruptly.” 

As teenagers step into high school, earn driver’s licenses, start their first jobs and begin their path of self-discovery, growing older inevitably results in some form of separation. Emotional and financial dependencies fade away, leaving children to form their own viewpoints and morals.  

“Being the kid of a parent who is a teacher, it feels like there are a lot of expectations,” junior Arcade Encarnacion said “Its hard because she feels like there’s a lot of potential in me, but on the other hand I’m struggling to stay afloat. We come at a clash because she expects me to be able to do certain things. She raised me to be better than other kids, but I wish she had more empathy or understanding. It builds a distance because I feel like she doesn’t see me, rather the person she wants me to be.”

The disconnect children experience with their parents could put them into a situation where expectations are heightened. This could potentially lead to a set of responsibilities that they may not necessarily be ready to handle. 

“Teaching my younger brother life lessons and helping him with schoolwork was something I enjoyed, but eventually I got tired of being a second mother,” senior Mikayla Day said. “When my second brother was born, my responsibilities were heightened having to take care of another sibling. My mom took care of us, but I was there to help when she needed it. I tend to have more patience than she does, so I’m the one who has to teach them and calm her down when she gets mad.”

While a parent may be mostly, or entirely, absent, young people are tasked with the responsibilities to take complete care of themselves with little direction. 

“For the last couple of years, my mom has dropped me off at home after school before going back to work,” Poselero said. “I remember feeling very overwhelmed and staying up for hours trying to figure out my Algebra homework. I was really struggling, but I couldn’t ask for help. A lot of the time I ate instant ramen and fried eggs for dinner, and it was really lonely eating meals by myself when my mom was still working, or maybe too tired to eat with me. I’m grateful my mom is working to keep us afloat, but I miss spending time with her.” 

On the other hand, some may choose to present or act in a manner that is deemed “older” by society. Whether it’s wearing makeup, dressing older or using adult language, it may be a defense mechanism to blend in, or seem more valuable to others. 

“Growing up around my older sister and cousins brought me to want to grow up a little faster so I could feel more included,” freshman Allyana Abao said. “With social media and my friends, I feel like I could grow and learn about being older and what I should prepare for the future. Because I’m friends with older people, I want to do what they do and have the freedoms they have, and just be more responsible like them.”

Much of this stems from the need to conform to today’s trends. This behavior has changed how many view the labels  “child,” “teenager,” or “adult.” Though, these issues are rooted in standards and culture, sparking questions on what should, or should not be normalized. 

“I’m not your standard millennial teacher, I am one that believes in letting individuals express themselves the way that they want to,” Communications teacher Henry Evans said. “Social media can be an alternative for students to express themselves where they can’t in school. The over-sexualization aspect of Instagram is not necessarily great, but at the same time, I don’t want to shame people. You can restrict how a student or minor presents themselves, but we have to look at the consequences of what happens when we restrain people.” 

Wang chooses to embrace the idea of growing up by understanding the support around her. 

“I feel that when you’re forced to grow up, it’s because you’re not as privileged as others might be,” Wang said. “You have to learn to fight for yourself, but when you choose to grow up you know that you’ll always have your parents [or another guardian figure].”

In hopes of creating a seamless transition to life after high school, students may be motivated to take AP, honors or dual credit courses to prepare for an adult workload. This rush to understand greater responsibilities may prevent some from fully cherishing their teenage years. 

“Being a student-athlete, there are 25 to 30 hours of training every week, and with five-hour practices a day and AP classes with high standards, it’s a lot to catch up on and I constantly feel like there’s something that needs to be done,” junior Jasmin Wenger said. “A lot of my friends have jobs and do extracurriculars, but they don’t take as hard of classes or aren’t as busy in general. I see them having so much fun, and it makes me wonder if I shouldn’t have done this. I’ve been trying to focus more on being social and ‘living.’ I cut down on gym hours, and now I have time to hang out on the weekends and give myself an off day.” 

As students continue to discover who they are and become closer to the title of “adult,” it takes time and reflection to understand their own upbringings.

“I wish that I lived in the little fantasy bubble of being a child longer, and that I didn’t have to ‘grow up,’” Poselero said. “Even though I’ve just become a legal adult, I think that my young adulthood has been going on for a lot longer than it actually has. As a twelve year old I was already in the mindset of thinking about my future, and since then I’ve had to constantly worry about it.”