With my constant school routine spinning endlessly in circles, I am left wondering whether I still have a social life. As a freshman, I was presented with two choices: World History Honors, or AP World History. I was overcome by a wave of confidence and chose AP World History. Although we had a decent amount of work for a summer assignment, I did not ever expect the workload to be this extreme.

With a strict weekly routine (quiz, break day, and test day), I am utterly overwhelmed and confused. It is true that AP will soon pay off due to the fact that there is a test at the end of the year that determines whether you have to take the course in college or not. However, on a weekly basis, we must complete chapter notes, a large amount of vocabulary cards, and a set of podcasts.

That does not sound like that much, however, with the many perks of having all honors classes comes the colossal workload. Plus, with the stress from home, I feel as if I barely have time for myself anymore. I know for a fact that when I chose to be in AP, I promised myself I would not fail anything, but I did not know the work would be this difficult.

I have been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. If there is not a straight line of “A’s” on my report card, it irks my nerves. I worry a lot about my grades, rather than what I learn for that reason. So, when teachers say “don’t worry about the grade, worry about the knowledge,” it kills me a little bit. Earning an “A” on a quiz or a test would mean that you have gained enough knowledge so that you can achieve an outstanding grade, as well as remember the content.

Though the workload conceals it, AP is filled with countless opportunities that will benefit me in the future. For instance, AP helps my weighted GPA, as it has a larger value than regular or honors courses.

Now, looking back on my decisions, I honestly wish I had not picked AP, because I had no idea what this year would bring. I am not good with patience, and I am not a diligent test-taker. I agree that the workload can be split up evenly at times, however, we’re teenagers. We procrastinate, we postpone, and we cancel. However, I can tell many people in my class enjoy the course as well as earn an incredible grade.

On the other hand, after attending AP night with my parents, I felt a bit relieved. I found out that the class is extremely beneficial to my future, and if I just pull through for the entire year, the work will pay off. Maybe it is not as bad as I think it is, but it is most definitely not easy.

It is very true that I have no had the time to do a lot of things lately. However, I am happy that I have chosen to challenge myself in an academic way. Although I do not necessarily enjoy the content, the learning experience is priceless. Maybe, with this realization, I will in fact kick back and relax –– Oh, wait. Do I have AP homework tonight?!