“New year, new me.”

“Woo! New Year, fresh start.”

“Yay! Healthy living this year! Time to get into shape.”

As 2013 came to an end, I decided to get out of bed and write my New Year’s resolutions a few days before the 31st. Pen and paper in one hand, a calendar in another, and high hopes for myself in my mind, I was ready to fill a sheet of paper (or more) of goals and resolutions. I began with “wear more dresses,” which, to me, sounded like a cute little goal for myself.

After falling short of motivation and self-confidence, I then logged on to my favorite and highly-trusted website, Tumblr. Of course, when I searched the tag “new years resolutions,” I came across a plethora of very poetic, yet simple ideas, and narrowed it down to three lucky winners: “Write until it stops hurting.” Wow. “You no longer control me. I am my own person.” That’s deep! “2014 is an invitation to stop ripping yourself apart.”

Although I could somewhat relate to those resolutions and short quotes, I would not make them responsible for an entire year. Sure, I can fill an entire journal with writing in a day, and maybe it would make a situation hurt less. But will my year really require so much writing? Will my year really qualify as enough of a “hurtful” year as to make me write so much? Yikes.

I then went to the next quote regarding being my own person. This quote was actually not one of my favorites, but I did write it down because it sounded absurdly like something I would have said at the beginning of 2013, after coming out of a difficult relationship.

I automatically crossed that off of my list (which now looked like a lot of rigid blue and black pen lines through deep, sentimental quotes). I would not allow myself to ever be so trapped, to ever use that quote. Finally, I looked at the last quote, which I appreciated very highly. It is true that there are times where I do emotionally rip myself apart, and sometimes that does cause many problems. However, why would I make this my New Year’s resolution?

It isn’t like I’m emotionally unstable, or have a problem keeping myself together, so why would this quote be the heart and soul of my entire year? As much as I dreaded doing this, I crossed it out, and dwelled on the fact that it would be a decent philosophy to live by, after a hardship or struggle.

I looked at my original idea (wear more dresses), and remembered my untainted thoughts prior to looking at other resolutions or quotes. Wearing dresses was the first thought that came to my mind, and no matter how miniscule it sounded, it is what I wanted from myself for the new year. Who knows how many quotes or blurbs I’ll relate to by the end of 2014? The important factor is that I am finally looking up, and letting myself live positively, only with a twist, because I’ll be wearing dresses.