I have never considered my depression to be limited to the year’s seasons, but considering the fact that I feel the most miserable during winter, I may have to consider this as an option. Despite my admiration for the joy that fills the air during the holidays, I can’t help but become socially isolated during this cold period. In an effort to try something new, I am reporting my stream of consciousness. 

So far, I can’t seem to find a cause. Maybe it is because a new year is approaching or I’m spending too much time with my family. 

I started off by not spending a single second by myself. Whether it was with my friends or even my sister, I felt comforted by knowing I was not alone. Never denying an invitation to an event or function was about my favorite part of this year. I have memories with so many new people–but in return, I lost contact with myself. 

Maybe in some sense, I allowed myself to be spread too thin. Some peace and quiet would have been useful, but I was too scared to give it to myself. The possibility of becoming severely isolated left me with a full calendar. Considerably, I can’t remember the last moment I did something because I enjoyed it–this was the reason for me leaving my job of six months. 

I am starting to realize this doesn’t have to continue every year, so I have declared “this year” resolution. I will go against my previous approach and devote more time to myself. As scary as it sounds, I will dive into each thought that surfaces in my mind. By doing so, I will find myself in a better mindset than I had any winter before. 

Since more than 10 percent of the world feels affected by the season’s as well, I know it isn’t a silly excuse for being sad. For those suffering with seasonal depression, Mental Health of America encourages light therapy, a little meditation, exercise and more time outside. We don’t have to wait until spring to bloom, so allow the chain to be broken. It will not go away magically, but with dedication, you may be able to make this winter a little warmer.

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