SATIRE: How to get that bread

More than mom jeans with photography


Eriyale Williams

I wake up the same everyday. I get up, tuck in my shirt, cuff my jeans, put on my Converse and I head out the door. After some serious intellectual thinking, I started to wonder what makes me different?  Sure, I could just fit in with the aesthetics I previously associated with but this only makes me the same as the next guy.

We are all here to obtain that grain, but there is only one true way to stay the trendiest legend of them all. It requires more than cuffing jeans and starting up a meme page. To begin the journey, it means dressing like a teen from the 90s, while starting up a photography career–this will ensure the activation of yeast.

Since choosing only one aesthetic will put you in a contest against a million other artistic teens, why not appropriate the aesthetics of all genres? After I noticed several trends existing on campus from simp-driven students to skaters, I made a decision–why not become all of them?

From 90s wannabes to local Twitter artists, I became unbeatable by obtaining all status quos. This was only possible after spending time studying and observing my peers, and not to forget changing my entire wardrobe to fit in with my new groups vibe.

Following trends can be difficult, but by overwhelming yourself and creating several personalities, you may become a legend amongst us all. Although this may seem easy, it is hard to truly master any of these aesthetics. While skater boys don’t cuff their jeans but 90s wannabes do, it is hard to keep up. Try keeping a chart or calendar to organize which aesthetic fits best with each day of the week.

Additionally, the most important thing to remember when becoming a trend follower is to never bring back old facades. It does not make you edgy to start bottle flipping in 2020, so get a hold of yourself. If your focus is to stay on top of trends, it may be useful to open up a TikTok account. TikTok is where everyone has gone to find the latest trends– you will truly be left out of the loop if you don’t.

Although, TikTok can be very influential for this next chapter in your life some aesthetics I mentioned are not available for study through the app. So before you add ‘astrologist’ or ‘artist’ into your bio, you might want to research a little more about your aesthetic. An easy way to capture this style is by shaving or dying your hair–preferably purple, just to express your creativity.

With cuffed jeans, niche hobbies and a new social media platform, you can guarantee that people will begin admiring you. Don’t fret when hate comes–it is hard for us normal citizens to live amongst such modern-day legends. Even if it gets you in your feelings, maybe you can make a cool rap about it on Soundcloud.

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