Everyone who knows me, knows that I have commitment issues–when it comes to jobs, at least. Don’t get me wrong, the places I apply to always sound like fun when I am writing cover letters, but during the interviewing process I begin critiquing the flaws of the available position until there is nothing good left.

For a broke student with expensive taste, I shouldn’t be so critical in evaluating where my paycheck comes from, but I can’t help but feel disinterested with the opportunities that don’t meet my standards. 

A part of me knows I shouldn’t be proud of my indecisive actions, especially since I am guilty of quitting a job before even starting my first shift. But the other part of me feels satisfied for not settling for less. Even if it is something as small as a disorganized break room, I can’t seem to sign myself up for any sub-par employment when I already live chaotically with my own responsibilities.

Sure, quitting jobs before giving them a chance isn’t the greatest way to go about changing my unemployment status, but I can’t convince myself to accept any of their offers. I am still young and I am just trying to find the right spot for me, so the jobs I have applied to are very different from each other. From serving at a Mexican restaurant, rolling ice cream or working at a water park–none of them felt right.

The anxiety only heightens with my mother continuously reminding me about getting a job–she suggests that, maybe in the long run I will learn to love it. But, this might be the only life lesson she is wrong about. Finding myself miserably working somewhere just doesn’t cut it for me, even if it does turn out great.

To be honest, I would rather push back this great deal of stress until it needs to be resolved. After all, everything happens for a reason so maybe the right opportunity will fall into my lap. I will just have to take a raincheck on jobs for now, even if that means there won’t be any checks coming my way anytime soon.