I don’t get my generation. Just the other day, I was sitting around the lunch table with my friends, and while we were talking about the upcoming election as any good-natured citizen would do, I uncovered a frightening revelation. Everyone…hates Donald Trump. 

Of course, the culprit is again the media. Kamala Harris is apparently the “hero” of this story, and Donald Trump, the villain, is ready to huff and puff and blow America down for the second time in a row. But I couldn’t help but be appalled by the harmful rhetoric that my peers were using against such a great individual. They swallow everything that they see on social media and vomit it back out for everyone to see, and I think it’s disgusting. They say that Donald Trump wants to take away our rights, to devolve America back into a cesspool of misogyny and oppression. But they’re getting it all wrong. The world paints Donald Trump to be a monster, when in reality He’s anything but. He is not oppressing women, but instead, He simply suggests taking America back to simpler times. Back when it was easier. 

Young girls believe in the illogical fantasy that they could be anything they want to be when they grow up. I was a victim to this dangerous, left-wing ideology as well, and had desired to be a thriving career woman when I was a kid. I wanted to be an author, astronaut, accountant. You really think that you can be anything when you’re eight years old. But now I know that those were all silly pipe dreams that simply amount to nothing. If Donald Trump wins the election, I don’t have to even think about trying to aim for the stars anymore, or worry about having to work day and night to win any Pulitzer prizes, or even having to work at all. I truly understand where I want to be once I leave high school: not floating in a spaceship or in front of a typewriter. Not even in front of an office computer. 

Every night, I dream of a sleek, round kitchen island. A cutlery drawer full of state-of-the art utensils. A frilly, plaid apron that I wear every night without fail as I cook dinner in a home too expensive to afford. Five babbling babies. Maybe ten babbling babies. Whatever my future husband wants, honestly. 

If I’m being 100% real with myself, in Donald Trump’s world I’m happy just going to do whatever my man tells me to do. A woman shouldn’t be out there doing the laborious, strenuous work of thinking, no! That’s very much a man’s job. The most that I should ever have to worry about in my silly little girl head is whether my Shepherd’s Pie is going to be up to par with Linda’s down the street, or how I could ever fix my husband’s now pink collared shirt after accidentally washing the white garment with my red dress (after all, pink is a girl color!). I now have fifteen babbling babies. Why would I need anything else?

I’m glad that Donald Trump is advocating for me to lose my right to choose, because really, choosing stuff on my own was too hard for me! I’m glad that the people at MAGA are really trying to understand the American people and really focusing on women. They know we don’t want to think anymore, and will tell us that we don’t have to think. That’s good. School’s already too hard for me. I used to be top of my class, but now a boy is and I think that’s how it should be, really.

In a world where Donald Trump wins, I can spend my days lounging on the patio of a house my husband can’t afford, reading a book. But it can’t be “Fahrenheit 451.” Or “The Bluest Eye.” Not even “The Kite Runner.” He banned those, but that’s good because if He doesn’t like them I shouldn’t either. I used to want to write books myself, but that requires way too much thought. Donald Trump tells me that I don’t have to think anymore and I will listen because He is my president and He is a man and I would wonder to myself what I’d be able to do if a woman had won. I have twenty babbling babies. They are all crying. In my dream, I’m crying too.

I’m so happy that Donald Trump wants this future for me, because it’s precisely the one that I want as well. I’m not eighteen yet, but for now I’m going to tell every adult I know to vote for Him. He is a good president. I can’t wait for Him to run for a third term. He will find a way to do that because the world always finds a way to open up for men, and when He does I will vote for Him then. And I will vote for Him for a fourth, fifth, sixth term. I’d vote for Him for life if He would let me.

(Wait– will I even have that right by then?)