As I drown in my sorrows, my friends celebrate their personal victories. Photo Credit: June Gabriel Santos
With first semester ending, and my grades being worse than they have ever been, I am feeling more helpless than ever. Parentlink used to be a website that holds hope for positive grades and high percentages. Now it is a website I would love to block on my computer and most importantly, my mind. I am so baffled by my grades that I don’t know whether to cry or scream.
I cannot believe I would let myself slip like I did first semester. I used to be a model student; I would never come to school without my homework done, and I would never step out of line with my attitude. Sure, I have been through a rigorous past seven months, but this gives me no excuse to fail a class.
I, Alex Nedelcu, have done the unthinkable. I failed a class.
Looking back, I wish I did things differently. I wish I would have turned in all of my work for this class. The respect that was paid to school in the past years needs to return, as I cannot allow this to happen again. Grades are something we control. They are the sole purpose of even going to school. Goodness, why was I so stupid?
Additionally, my attitude toward my teachers and school itself has been awful. My pessimism going into school every day is terrible, and I seldom smile anymore. I know this sounds depressing, but I think I will soon reach a point of realization where I actually do all of my work and succeed again.
I went from writing columns about how great life’s opportunities are to a totally confused and sad person. I used to think about how amazing it is to be positive, and I was living in my golden age. Now, I feel like I am in a period of failure and it simply will not end. No matter how much I do not want to admit it, my problems at home are affecting the way I feel at school. On top of that, all of my friends and some of my teachers are growing worried about how I have not been keeping it together lately.
Truth is, I do not need to be smothered with constant worries and pity. As a matter of fact, this increases my self pity, and makes my days worse. On the contrary, I love when people bring their positive vibes my way. I love happy people that like to smile and crack a few jokes here and there. No doubt I am going through a hard time, but those two minutes of giggles can keep me going for hours.
Failure most definitely does not sit well with me, and neither does pity. Ultimately, they go hand in hand. But, if there is something failure has taught me it is to always keep that perseverance going regardless of the situation I am in. I know how to handle my situations now, and must always remember that one is capable of happiness no matter what. Needless to say, it will never happen again.