Until this moment, I’ve never realized how close I am to saying goodbye to high school. Although it’s only the second week of senior year, college life is only a year away. But I’m not sure whether I’m ready to decide how I’m going to live my life.

I understand how my life seems like a cliche and I most certainly did not intend for my life to end up like the plot of an episode of an after-school sitcom. But the fact that I’ve been stressing about my future for a few months now just proves how real this problem is.

All the classes I’ve taken and skills I’ve learned were almost always related to college. Now that I’ve done my applications and started looking for scholarships, I wonder if college life will be any more independent than senior year. My best guess is that I’ll still be living at my parent’s house, doing the same routine every day, except with different classes. 

I have a lot of time to decide what I want to do in life, but it never seems like it’s enough.  

Even after college, I still have plans to attend a graduate school. By the time I complete my education, I will be around 25 years old. Knowing that my real life starts a whole eight years from now, I’m not sure if I can wait that long to be able to be completely independent to do what I want.

There are people that just don’t focus on their future and try to live in the moment, having fun and not having a care in the world. I never understood how people can go with the flow of life—for all I know, that’s just a bold faced lie to serve as an excuse to ignore your future. On the contrary, there are also people that have decided what they want to do in life since day one. That’s a commitment I wouldn’t be able to handle, at this moment, I’m not even sure what career path I should take. I have a lot of time to decide what I want to do in life, but it never seems like it’s enough.

Originally, my plan for this article was to just wait for life to happen. Funny enough, as I was going to send this article to be edited, my little brother wanted to ask if he made a mistake by saying, “I want to do whatever I like when I grow up.”

All this time I was so fixated on how I could make my future better, but I never stopped to ask myself, “Will I be happy?” 

The one thing I’ve been missing is the fact that following what makes you happy is the right direction. Although this saying is cliche drivel, my impatience to be independent has caused me to overlook the lessons I’ve been taught throughout life. All this time I was so fixated on how I could make my future better, but I never stopped to ask myself, “Will I be happy?” 

The only obstacle that keeps me from deciding my life is commitment. Photography is a hobby of mine that can keep me entertained and focused for hours on end. Making a living, however, is a challenge because how saturated the market is with photographers. Another hobby of mine is writing, to an extent, my creativity reaches its peak when I’m typing. But I’m not sure if I want to deal with being confined to the shackles of modern media.

I want to make an impact in the world, but I’ve been going about it the wrong way. My main focus should be towards if you’ll be content with the life you live. Your impact and legacy will show up on its own. Life doesn’t move too slow, life just moves at a pace for you and you alone to decide if you’re heading towards the right direction.

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